"Extra! Extra! 'The Daily Burn': Where Dust Masks are the New Black and Enlightenment is Free, but Ice is $10 a Bag!"
"Desert Mirage Unveiled: Pacifist Pyro Discovers his Spirit Animal is a Fire Extinguisher at Burning Man!"
"Extra! Extra! Read All About it! 'Dusty Hippies Lose Tug of War Against Sandstorm' in Today's Edition of 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Desert-Frolicking Dilemma: Finding Your Spirit Animal While Battling Sandstorms and the Quest for Porta-Potties!"