Express Lane for Hitchhikers in 2023

Burning Man is notorious for its long entry lines, but this year, the organizers have come up with a new solution: an express lane for hitchhikers!

If you're tired of waiting in line for hours on end, all you have to do is stick out your thumb and hope for the best. According to Burning Man's official statement, "Hitchhikers have a special place in our hearts, and we want to make sure they get to experience the magic of the playa without having to wait in line like everyone else."

The new express lane will be located on the far right side of the entrance, and will be marked with a sign that reads "Hitchhiker Lane". Anyone who is caught trying to sneak into the express lane without being a genuine hitchhiker will be promptly escorted to the back of the regular line and have their vehicle spray painted with images of hitchhiking mushrooms. This part of the plan is expected to get better.

The organizers are hoping that the new express lane will encourage more people to hitchhike to the event, and thus reduce the number of cars on the road. "We want to promote eco-friendliness and sustainability," says Burning Man spokesperson, Sandy Beach. "And what better way to do that than by encouraging people to carpool?"

Concerns about attendees on foot not having all the supplies they'll need were dismissed by Beach, who said, "Meh. If sparkleponies can get by on glitter and a captain's hat, so can these thumb riders."

Of course, there are some potential downsides to the new express lane. For one, hitchhiking can be dangerous, and there's no guarantee that you'll actually get a ride. And even if you do get a ride, there's no guarantee that the driver will be heading to Burning Man. One unfortunate attendee found themselves at a Nickeback concert. 

But for those who are willing to take the risk, the express lane could be a game-changer. "I've been waiting in line for three hours," says one frustrated Burner. "If hitchhiking is the way to go, I'm all for it."

As for the hitchhikers themselves, they seem to be thrilled with the new lane. "I've been hitchhiking to Burning Man for years," says one veteran Burner. "It's about time they gave us some recognition!"